Chapter 1
Friday, December 22, 1972
Kokomo, Indiana
You’re running away.
“Ronnie, earth to Ronnie.”
Ronnie snapped back to the present where her family all stared at her. “I’m sorry. What was it?”
“Pass the mashed potatoes, please?”
Ronnie Webb tossed a smile at Windy, a cousin she barely knew. It probably looked more like a wince. Between getting stuck in her head and her finger throbbing, that made sense.
She handed the ginormous bowl of spuds in her cousin’s direction. The pre-Christmas meal Dad’s side of the family had prepared smelled amazing and threatened to bow the dining room table. Even with foregoing the meat centered dishes, there was plenty on her plate. It was so hard to pretend to be normal. How had life become so twisted upside down?
“Boo-boo. Me kiss.” Little Heather, seated on a stack of phone books and two huge Funk and Wagnalls, leaned in toward Ronnie’s left hand.
Oops. If the toddler noticed…
Ronnie slid her fingers closer to the child to keep from making a scene while her heartbeats increased to a stampede. However, Heather’s sweetness overrode her concern, and she dropped a kiss of her own on the girl’s silky blonde mane. It was the only part of the darlin’ child not covered in food goo.
Aunt Cheryl gasped. “Oh, no, Ronnie, what happened to your finger?”
Double oops.
Ronnie’s thoughts barrel raced through her brain. What could she say? “Um, I think the ring got sized a little too small.” Or maybe it was all the fast food from the trip?
“It must be all the holiday sweets, shug.” Thanks, Mom. Was she getting fat? On top of everything else?
Shrugging in agreement, she added, “I’m not used to it yet, I guess,” before letting the scrumptious meal on her plate draw her eyes down.
Ronnie figured someone was bound to notice. After all the attempts to get the ring off, it was no wonder her finger was sore. Still, she’d hoped to put off explaining as long as possible, and maybe find success in removing the delicate solitaire from her stubborn digit before being discovered. A mere hour after arriving in Kokomo, Indiana bordered on the abrupt. Lord, please help me get through Christmas before I have to ruin things for my family.
“Hazel, do you mind if I make an ice pack for her?” Mom would ask. If only Ronnie could slide beneath the table. At least then, when everyone stared at her place, she wouldn’t be able to see it.
“That’s okay. I’ll take care of it later, Mom.” Only Miss Hazel was already at the swinging door that led to the kitchen. Just swell. Pun intended. Eventually, after Christmas, Ronnie would explain to her parents, and by extension everyone else, that the ring was no longer hers.
Nor was the man.
Her heart shuddered as a fresh pain stabbed her in the chest. It took everything she had to keep this news from her family until after the happy celebrations. The last thing she wanted was to destroy Christmas for those she loved. If only her stupid finger didn’t look like a mini-sausage.
The past two days had been horrendous. Riding in the family station wagon with her parents, keeping up the charade, eating every Stuckey’s nut log she got her hands on all the way from Hood County, Texas.
Ronnie stopped herself from shaking her head. She had only herself to blame for this moment. As much as she’d love to curl up and have Mom comfort her, it wasn’t right. Not now, at least.
“What you need to do, sweetie, is hold your hand up in the air and let gravity do the work.” This from her Aunt Cheryl who sat directly across from her.
That wouldn’t look strange or anything.
“It’s just sore from my playing with it.” Miss Hazel handed her the ice pack right then. “Thank you.” She almost added, “You shouldn’t have,” but the faster Ronnie got this focus off of her, the better.
Dinner talk ebbed, leaving too much quiet. As she raised her eyes, several glanced toward her left hand. Oh, they tried to hide it, but it was obvious. And with such a full table of guests—three cousins with their husbands and children, her Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Aaron, and then Aaron’s mother, Miss Hazel and her husband, Gene, not to mention Ronnie and her parents—there was no missing it.
This vacation was supposed to have been fun.
After Aunt Cheryl, who was Dad’s little sister, and Uncle Aaron came to Texas for Thanksgiving, there’d been no peace until everyone agreed to come to Kokomo for Christmas. At the time, Ronnie was excited even though Cal couldn’t make it.
Cal. They’d promised to celebrate together once she got home again.
Another promise broken.
“I hear y’all have been working on a special Christmas program. Will we get to see it?” It was the best diversion Ronnie could come up with. She hoped the change of subject would help as she rested her hand on the ice pack. Brr. Sure made the metal cold.
Aunt Cheryl’s face lit up. “Oh, yes, Aaron’s been working hard on it. Together with one of his prize pupils,” she turned to her husband, “Mac MacKenzie, right hon?”
He nodded.
“Yep, Mac. Anyway, they’ve written original music and the two of them have a guitar duet that will bring tears to your eyes, it’s so good.”
Uncle Aaron’s cheeks got a little rosy, and he patted his wife’s hand before shoving his glasses back up his nose. “Thanks, hon.”
“I’m just tellin’ the truth. I’ve heard some of their rehearsals. It’s all scheduled for Christmas Eve.”
Ronnie’s uncle grinned. “Well, if you’re going to share that, you should also mention that you and the girls have a quartet presentation. I would have loved to have given all the parts to my women, but we’ve got some talented folks in our church, and they deserve a chance too.” He followed up with a wink at his wife.
“Now, Dad, we’re happy to help, but singing all the songs? That’s a lot of responsibility and a ton more than we could do.” Sunny, Ronnie’s eldest cousin on this side of the family, spoke for her sisters as well as herself as she rubbed her swollen belly.
“I guess you’re right. But I’m pretty excited about how this is turning out. Can’t wait for you all to see it.”
“Anything with my talented little sis has got to be good.” Dad beamed with pride over at Aunt Cheryl who at one time had been a movie star.
At least this conversation took the focus off her. Ronnie wanted to sigh but held it in just in case it put her back in the spotlight. This bit of plans, and the happiness they brought for while they were there, proved she was right for not sharing her life-is-never-going-to-be-the-same news.
“Ronnie, you’re not eating any of the roast.” Now Aunt Cheryl blushed. “Oh, sorry, I forgot.”
“I’m sure it tastes great, but I don’t do meat anymore.” Another hush around the table. How long before someone called Ripley’s Believe It or Not?
“I should have remembered.”
“It’s okay.” Ronnie forced a smile and took her final forkful of potatoes. Without gravy. She stared at the boat holding the mashed potato topping. Would that make the ring slide any better? At least she wouldn’t be taking it internally. Though they’d question her sanity if she plopped her hand in the goop. She’d be questioning it too if it weren’t so tempting.
Miss Hazel scooted back from the table and stood. “I have dessert. Sugar cream pie. There’s more than enough. But do you want it now or later? I also have coffee ready.”
The consensus was to wait. Gene captured his wife’s hand. “This was a grand meal, sweetheart, but we need time to find some room.”
“Well, then, you men go hang out in the den while we women get the clean-up done. Make yourselves useful and take the little ones with you.”
That drew a chuckle. There were only the pair. Sweet two-year-old Heather who was Cousin Windy’s daughter, and Cousin Stormy’s Bobby, who was just a bit over a year old and trying to walk to keep up with the toddler. They were definitely cute and made Ronnie want to cry. The chances of her having one as adorable seemed slim to none anymore.
Another stab to her battered heart.
Stormy draped her arm over Hazel’s shoulders. “Gramma, you always end up cleaning after every meal. Why don’t you put your feet up and let us do it? We’ve got more than enough help, and we know where things go.”
“On one condition. Sunny, sit it out with me. I can see your ankles swelling from here and if you overdo, you’ll not arrive at your due date.”
The mother-to-be shrugged. “I’m too tired to argue. Sure, I’ll make that sacrifice. You all have fun without me.” She winked and led her grandmother out of the kitchen to groans and chuckles from her sisters and mother.
“Let’s shake it, ladies.” Stormy turned on the faucet and soon had a sink full of hot, bubbly suds, and dirty dishes.
Ronnie volunteered to wash. “If that’s okay. I don’t know where things go, and the soapy water might help my finger.”
No one argued, so she took Stormy’s place and started scrubbing.
Mom headed toward the dining room with Aunt Cheryl for the rest of the dishes.
“Oh.” Windy’s tender gaze landed on her as she polished a willow patterned plate dry. What had she figured out? “We heard about your cousin, Sophie. We’re so sorry.”
Stormy nodded in solidarity.
The lasso around Ronnie’s heart tightened, squeezing away all response. Her throat closed while she worked to stem the tide of tears mounting an offensive against her eyelids.
Mom must have returned in time to hear. She reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind Ronnie’s ear before she responded. “Ronnie and Sophie were very close. She had that special spark, ya know? Just had to be helpful, do what she could. Seems unnatural that she’s not with us anymore.”
Just had to be helpful was right. It was her kindness and sense of duty that got her killed. A stew of anger and despair warred for the upper hand whenever Ronnie allowed herself to remember that her best friend and confidant no longer lived. She scrubbed the next plate with gusto.
Windy and Stormy continued drying and putting away in silence.
Great, Ronnie’d made them feel bad. That wasn’t her intention. But the condolences had blindsided her. She didn’t know if she could construct words yet. Instead, a black cloud tinted her vision.
Mom leaned in close. “Many hands make light work.”
Ronnie nodded in agreement. But once the job was done, what other hidden trip mines would be uncovered?
Not even five minutes later, the kitchen was put back to rights, the sink drained, and the towels hung on the rack.
“Let’s go find Hazel and Sunny.” Aunt Cheryl led the way to the living room where her daughter lay stretched out with her feet in Miss Hazel’s lap.
“Oh, let me move, so there’s more room.”
“No, hon, you stay put.” Aunt Cheryl restrained Sunny. “You work way too hard, and I’m concerned you’ll make this baby come faster than he or she needs to. We’ve got plenty of places to sit, especially if we bring in seats from the dining room.”
Stormy and Windy were on it before their mother stopped talking.
Mom took one of the two winged fireside chairs and Ronnie dropped to the floor, just like at home, criss cross. Maybe down here she’d be less visible.
“So Sunny, when’s the big day s’posed to be? Your parents didn’t say a word about this when they were down last month.” Mom would get all the details.
Sunny twisted around making eye contact. “We made a deal. If you could come up for Christmas, they wouldn’t let the cat out of the bag. But if you couldn’t, they would share. We wanted to surprise you, so I’m glad it worked out. Please don’t blame Mom and Dad, they were only doing what we asked.”
“What about a shower? Have you had one yet?”
“We’ve been so busy with the holidays, there hasn’t been time. I know Mom and Gramma want to plan something, so do Pat’s mother and sister. The baby isn’t due until January 20th. I’d hoped we could do it while you’re here.”
Ronnie glanced up to see her mother’s face. Mom loved this kind of thing. She’d be disappointed again when she learned about the break up.
“We have to leave right after Christmas. Jack has to get back to the ranch. Maybe I’ll go shopping while we’re here, but I’m fixin’ to crochet y’all something once I get home and will stick it in the mail as fast as I can.”
“Thank you, Aunt Alice.”
“Actually, I never got to send anything to your sisters, either.”
“Don’t worry about that. Windy has an announcement of her own.” Sunny grinned as all the women turned in her sister’s direction.
“Hey, Kris and I just found out last week. We’ve got a long way to go. Stormy could be pregnant again before this new one arrives.”
Which put Stormy in the spotlight.
“Don’t look at me. If it happens, it happens. Bobby may end up with a brother or sister or have to learn to be satisfied with a whole lot of cousins.” That had everyone chuckling. Well, almost.
Ronnie tried to at least smile. No one seemed to notice, so that was good.
Conversation centered on catching up with goings-on in Kokomo. Aunt Cheryl planned to go out for another play after the first of the year. Maybe. She was concerned about it pulling her away from Sunny if she went into labor. But then Sunny pointed out that they would only be in preliminary rehearsals then, so there’d be no conflict.
“What happened to Bridget?” Ronnie blurted the question the moment it occurred to her. Bridget was closer to Ronnie’s age, and when they’d hung out last year, they’d had some fun conversations.
Aunt Cheryl sort of smiled. “She’s in Hollywood, working on a new film. We were just there in October when Aaron was playing for the Christmas specials. She’s doing great and is loving her life. My old agent took her on and is a bit of a mother hen, so that helps.”
Ronnie nodded. She’d hoped to break her news to Bridget first, since she was so easy to talk to. The practice might have helped. But now, she’d have to wing it.
Another loss.
Losing Soph had been hard. It still was. And it should have been enough loss for any one person to endure. But no. Bridget was gone too, though at least she was still living.
Hardest of all, she’d lost Cal.
And she couldn’t say a word about it. The knife that had been stabbing her heart now gutted her.
***
Friday, December 22, 1972
Lazy W Ranch, Hood County, Texas
Carlitos Hernandez parked his truck next to the house and stared at his plaster-covered wrist one more time. He shouldn’t even be home yet, but now he had to make a phone call and pray the answer wasn’t as awful as he feared.
As he opened the truck’s cab door, Lobo, Ronnie’s Australian shepherd, greeted him. “Sorry, buddy, but she’s not with me. You miss her too, doncha?” He scratched between the dog’s ears before climbing out. “Ma’s gonna be all over me for not being careful, boy. Want to come with me and distract her a little?” He laughed at the thought of his mother allowing any animal inside her house and stooped down in front of the Aussie. “I’ll be out to check on you after a while. Why don’t you go find Dex while you’re waiting?” Carlitos gave the dog another pet before heading to the back porch.
He did not look forward to this. Not one bit. In fact, the only person who would remotely be okay with it was Ronnie. Would she think he did it on purpose?
Well, he didn’t. And he wouldn’t.
“Mijo, what are you doing here?” Ma nearly collided into him—and his broken wrist—on her way to see what was going on outside. He knew her. She’d heard something and had to investigate.
“Careful, Ma.”
“Ay! Carlitos, what did you do?” Now she had her arm around him to lead him into the kitchen where she pushed him onto a chair. “Start talking.”
“It’s nothing. Really.”
She stared him down.
“Okay, it’s broken—”
“Ay, mijo, what can I do for you? Do you need ice?” She was at the freezer door before she finished speaking.
“No, Ma. I’m good. Maybe some Excedrin later.”
She pulled up a chair to face him and grabbed the green bottle from behind the napkin holder, plunking it down in front of him.
“Thanks.” He paused to see if he might get out of sharing more of the story, but her stare confirmed she was having none of his evasive tactics. He sighed. “Fine. It’s so stupid. Not even my ride. I was helping Miggy Alvarez. He’d drawn Thunder Clap—”
“Oh, that dangerous bull?” Her hands covered her mouth.
“Yeah. But I wasn’t riding. Remember? Only Thunder Clap was getting squirrelly and bounced the gate onto my wrist on his way out. Like I said, it was stupid. I just was in the wrong place.”
Ma seemed to accept that as she chewed at her bottom lip. Then a light glowed in her eyes and her spine straightened. “What does this mean for January fourth?”
Apparently, Ronnie wasn’t the only one hoping. “It’s too late tonight. I’ll have to call them tomorrow. I doubt they want me showing up with a fractured wrist, but I don’t know what the policy is.”
“Maybe they’ll say they can’t use you anymore.” Yeah, Ma was hoping right along with Ronnie.
“It doesn’t work that way. The army will probably give me time to heal and a new appointment date. Most likely I’ll have to bring in something from my doctor to say I’m now fit.” Wonder how long they’ll allow?
Ma popped back up and started making him a dinner plate. “Anything that keeps you here is fine by me.”
“You want me to be hurt?”
She turned to him with enormous eyes. “Ah, no, mijo. No. But I don’t want you going into the army. Not while that war still goes on.”
“Ma. I was gonna have to go anyway. My number was up. This way—”
“And you told no one. I can’t believe you kept that to yourself.” She dropped the dish of refritos and bowl of pozole in front of him, making clear she was still upset about that. “Here.” She handed him a still warm tortilla.
“I’m sorry, Ma. I just didn’t need y’all fixin’ to worry yourselves crazy. That’s why I enlisted. That way I have a better chance of getting stationed somewhere else.” She’d made the red pozole, his favorite. Someone must be running late since she still had the soup and beans warming on the stove.
“Por supuesto? You’re positive?”
“Ma, nothing is for sure. It’s just a better chance. Hey, where’s Pop?” A different topic would be welcomed about now.
“He’s out with the horses. My Lady is foaling and with Jack gone, he thought he ought to be there in case Dex needed a hand.” She returned to her seat.
“So that’s why dinner is still waiting. Guess I lucked out. I’ll go down and help when I’m done here. If I’d known, I’d have headed there first.” Of course, that meant no seconds on the pozole now. Maybe Ma would save him some more. “So what’s been going on while I was gone?”
Ma brushed some crumbs from her plastic tablecloth into her hand before pulling a napkin from the holder in the center of the table and handing it to him. No words necessary.
“Not much. Jack and Alice pulled out about six yesterday morning. Saw Ronnie climb into the backseat like she was going to sleep the whole way.” That made Ma chuckle. “Oh, that reminds me. She came by and asked to leave you something. I told her to put it on your dresser.”
Carlitos smiled. They’d agreed to exchange gifts when she got back since they were both supposed to be gone over the holidays. Guess she wanted to one-up him. No biggie. What he had for her was too large to wrap, anyway. He hadn’t decided until right before Thunder Clap did his damage whether he’d give it to her as a Christmas present or as a wedding gift. But he was too excited to wait, so he was settling for a late Christmas/New Year’s present.
He’d never attempted anything this big. But he’d saved almost every cent since he first drew a paycheck. Ever. This dream was one of the three goals of his life—this, marry Ronnie, and work the rodeo until he could start his own ranch. Ronnie was the primary objective, though. Carlitos had fallen in love with her the moment his three-year-old eyes had seen her in that little sun suit with the ruffles on her butt. They might say there’s no such thing as love at first sight, and even then, those who accepted the possibility would most likely argue that a three-year-old was incapable of more than a puppy-love crush.
But then, they’d never met Ronnie.
She was his reason for getting up in the morning, for working until he was dead tired, and saving every dime he could. She was why he didn’t tell anyone about his draft number. Ronnie would’ve lost her mind. Especially after learning the news about Sophie.
So he’d waited until he met with the recruiter and had a plan. Then he explained, or tried to, that this was a safer bet. Still a bet, but with better odds.
She hadn’t bought it.
He could picture her, wide-eyed and panicked, trying to get out of his truck so she didn’t have to listen to more. But the part she missed was the part she most needed to hear. He could only hope she’d have calmed down once she returned from Indiana.
Carlitos gathered his dishes and put them in the sink before kissing his mother’s cheek. “Thanks, Ma. I’ll go send Pop in for his dinner.”
She wrapped him in a hug. “I’m glad you’re home, mijo.”
“Me too, Ma.” He squeezed her back and headed out to the horse barn where My Lady waited. The beautiful Appaloosa belonged to Becky, Ronnie’s sister. But since she’d moved into town to work for the Hood County News, she only got to ride her horse on the weekends when she could get away. Therefore, everyone on the ranch stepped up to show My Lady some love. The girls’ brother, Dex, had convinced Becky to let him breed her mare. But now, if something went wrong with the birth, a certain brother could be up the creek with his sister.
The men’s whispers found Carlitos before he reached them at a stall in the back of the barn. They didn’t sound too upset, so maybe things were okay. He could only hope.
Waiting until he was close to say anything in order to keep from startling the mother-to-be, he let his near-silent footfalls on the straw announce his approach.
His father looked up first from the stall next to My Lady’s and gave him a hug while speaking soft and low. “Mijo, thought we wouldn’t see you until after Christmas.”
Carlitos held up his plastered hand. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”
“Looks like something’s broke.” Dex grinned at him.
“Okay, then it looks as bad as it is. Nailed my wrist thanks to Thunder Clap.”
“You tried to ride him?” Pop’s stare screamed that he wondered where Carlitos left his brain.
“Nah. I know my limits. This was from helping Miggy Alvarez.”
Dex and Pop shared a glance and nodded in unison. “How’d Miggy do?”
“Five seconds, I think. Someone told me. I wasn’t watching at that point.” Carlitos grimaced.
“Sounds about right for Miggy. He’s one crazy hombre.”
Pop shook his head at Dex’s pronouncement.
“So, how’s it going out here? She fixin’ to be a mama, or make ya’ll wait all night?”
“I doubt if she knows. We’ve been watching a good couple of hours, and I’m almost ready to call Doc Ford.”
If Dex was considering calling the vet, there might be reason to worry.
“Maybe she’s just feeling shy.” Carlitos paused to watch My Lady who acted like she didn’t know or care there were men here to help her. Then he remembered why he came out. “I told Ma I’d spell ya, Pop, so she could feed ya. She’s got plenty, Dex, if ya want some too.”
“Nah, I’ll stay here. But Pedro, you go on. No need for ya to go hungry.”
Pop rubbed his belly. “No one’s gonna accuse me of missing too many meals.” He chuckled and turned to Carlitos. “Did you see Carmelita or Raul at the house?”
“Nope.” Funny, he never even thought to ask Ma about his younger siblings. “Wonder where they are?”
“Still on the church youth trip is my guess. More’n likely fixin’ to be here soon. Let me go check in with Elena and I’ll be back.” Pop squeezed Carlitos’s shoulder as he left.
Carlitos stooped next to Dex. “What are ya thinking?”
“She doesn’t seem distressed. And up to about twenty minutes ago I figured it was all going like clockwork. Now, I don’t know.”
As if she heard Dex’s words, the Appaloosa mare lifted her head, looked him in the eyes, and snorted. She’d been laying down but at once pushed herself to her feet.
After about three steps, she crouched, and her water broke.
“It’s time.” They whispered in unison and moved further back into the neighboring stall to help ease things for the mare.
She lowered again and rolled to her side. Since this was her first foal, Carlitos knew it would take longer, up to an hour. He got comfortable on a hay bale to watch the show through the openings between the slats in the stall’s wall.
My Lady’s hard labor lasted about fifty-five minutes when she expelled a miniature of herself, right down to the spots on the foal’s flanks. Now the new mother needed a chance to recover. This was the only thing stopping him and Dex from coming around the corner to check. She might try to stand before it was safe for her. But given the time and space, she’d know when she was ready to clean and nuzzle her baby.
Carlitos stayed long enough to watch My Lady begin her licking process. Then he patted Dex’s shoulder and motioned with his head toward the house.
Dex nodded and Carlitos left.
Back in Ma’s kitchen, Pop wiped his bowl clean with his tortilla. “I should have come out again, but I didn’t want to leave your mama alone.” He winked.
Ma swatted his shoulder. “You better be grateful, mijo. I saved you some pozole before your papa could finish it off.” She chuckled.
“Thanks, Ma. I’ll be down in a minute to have some more. I wanna see what Ronnie left for me. I can’t wait for Christmas.”
“You better. You don’t want to ruin her surprise.” Ma’s voice floated up the stairs to him.
Carlitos would be happy to act surprised for her, but he’d waited just as long as he could.
A white envelope sat on his dresser, his name written in her big, loopy writing. It made him smile.
Tucking a finger under the corner of where she’d sealed it, he tore it open to a folded piece of paper.
Cal,
I can’t do this.
I’ll return the ring when I get back.
Ronnie
